In 7 days, I will be driving with a few fellow coaches to Nashville for a giant event - Beachbody's biggest event of the year, Summit - trainings, parties, motivation, workouts with the trainers, exclusive shopping - you name it... I see all my peers talking about how excited they are, they have a countdown going, they are trying on fancy dresses and packing... but not me...
Honestly, I am terrified...
Going to Nashville sums up all of my greatest fears...
Which include, but aren't limited to - large crowds, meeting new people, meeting people I admire, and the greatest of these fears is leaving my girls...
Sounds silly, right?
Almost 30 years old and I have these fears...
So you might say, "Umm, Erin you don't have to go, just stay home!" And I would, but here is the thing, I did not chose to be a coach or to change lives - it CHOSE ME! I am so internally drawn to go, despite the tears and the anxiety and the fears because this is what I was meant to do... And if you know me personally at all, you know it must be true because I don't leave my kids EVER! So funny, because I am sure as a mother you can relate - some days I can't wait for bedtime, or I just want a meal or shower free of interuptions - but then when the opportunity arises, it feels so weird, almost not right!
I have literally broken down and cried about leaving them - I don't know why, guess I am being selfish... I cried today folding their little laundry, and putting them to bed - I feel like this is crazy, because in reality of how much time I get with them, 6 days is nothing... but I've never left, I am always there - and funny thing is, when I talk to Aubrey about it, she is just like "you will bring me home something, right mom?" - some days I wonder how I raised such a strong, independent girl!
I remember last year, when I was watching all everyone at Summit - I remember thinking "I have to
go there" and when I told my mom I bought a ticket to go, she could hardly believe it. The year has come around so quickly, I almost can not believe it... Kate was only 6 months old at the time...
But don't take this the wrong way, part of me is excited to go - the coach part.. The part that knows that this training is going to change my life, help me change more lives and help me be a better mentor to my team..
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This tattoo on my foot, is something I wanted for a long time -
I made sure I got it before leaving, so I could always look down
and be reminded of my WHY - because every step I take is
all for them xo |
Really I am blessed - blessed to have so much to waiting at home for me these 6 days I am gone and blessed to have so much to look forward to while I am there... blessed with the opportunity to change lives, including my own...